I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize