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I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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