Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In America we eat man semen.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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