in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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