its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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