My brain says no but my pants say off.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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