I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
