He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This baby is an asshole
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
