My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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