I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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