Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
