How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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