Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize