If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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