Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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