They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
