definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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