I think scott just propositioned me for sex
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
