drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
