You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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