KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will pee on everything he values.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
