Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
vagina is talking i cant
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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