just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize