i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
