It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
