I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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