so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
