I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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