Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
