i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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