I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize