they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
