Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
