I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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