Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
