the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize