you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
