Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
