After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
