Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
