her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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