He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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