He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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