I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize