It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
