nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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