He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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