well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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