Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
