I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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