Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
