I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize