I must be too annoying 4 u.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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