It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize