i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
