I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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