I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
