Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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