seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
